Oakland Raiders: A Radical Solution To The Team’s Kansas City Problem

The Oakland Raiders have a big problem with the Kansas City Chiefs – namely, that they can’t beat them. Here, we propose a radical solution to solve that problem.

The Oakland Raiders, and more specifically, quarterback Derek Carr – the man with the $125 million dollar arm – have a big, nasty problem. And that problem is named the Kansas City Chiefs.

Well, to be fair, they actually have quite a few more problems, but that one seems particularly relevant and topical at the moment, so we’ll just focus on that for now.

Like death, taxes, the sun rising, and mall Santas always looking creepy and smelling like vodka, the one thing we can all seem to count on in this life is Carr having a horrendous, atrocious, and all around miserable game against the Kansas City Chiefs.

And like clockwork, Sunday’s game proved to be yet another dismal chapter in Carr’s ongoing horror saga.

Over his young career, Carr’s performances against Kansas City have been so horrific, Ryan Murphy should consider basing an installment of American Horror Story around it – because Carr and the Raiders have been getting murdered brutally against their division rivals for four years now.

Surely, after four years, there’s plenty of material to work with. Somebody out there write up a treatment on that, will you?

Anyway, sitting at a disappointing 6-6, but still with a chance to essentially, knock the Chiefs out of the playoff race, while firming up their own grip on the division, Carr and the Raiders came out and laid an egg so large, you’d think that Godzilla dropped it.

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The game wasn’t even as close as the 26-15 final score might lead you to believe (Oakland had just 68 total offensive yards at halftime). And now, the Raiders will get to fly back to Oakland with all of that egg on their collective faces.

Although he ended up throwing for 211 yards on 24/41 passing, with a touchdown and two interceptions, even those paltry numbers were well padded in garbage time. Carr didn’t cross the 100 passing yards barrier on the day until well into the fourth quarter, with Kansas City up big.

And that big, fat egg was laid without having to face Marcus Peters, Kansas City’s best cover corner, thanks to his team-issued suspension.

In the interest of fairness though, and lest anybody think that’s simply an outlier on his stellar young career, let’s look at his career numbers, shall we?

Including today’s horror movie-worthy effort, in eight meetings with Kansas City, Carr is a less than scintillating 2-6 as the starter, has thrown for 1,843 yards on 46 percent passing (158/340) with 10 touchdowns and seven interceptions.

It’s important to bear in mind though, that in most of Carr’s matchup with the Chiefs, the Raiders have been blown out, which arguably, skews his numbers and overinflates them. Over Carr’s tenure with the team, the Raiders have been outscored by Kansas City 211-143 – which translates to a per game scoring average of 26.4 for the Chiefs to just 17.8 for Oakland.

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With Carr under center, the Raiders are getting smoked by an average of at least nine points a game. Which – isn’t good. It’s not even in the same universe as good, actually.

However, let it never be said that we here at Golden Gate Sports don’t come armed with solutions to problems of this magnitude. We’re not here just to knock anybody, we’re also here to help.

And with that in mind, we have what could be an unorthodox, maybe even radical, but perhaps very solid solution to Carr’s problems with the Chiefs.

We suggest adding a – designated quarterback.

What is a designated quarterback you ask? Even if you didn’t, we’re going to tell you anyway.

Much like a designated driver, for when you’ve perhaps, imbibed a little too much holiday cheer, or like the designated hitter for pitchers who couldn’t hit water if they fell out of a boat, the designated quarterback is just somebody who can come in and provide a little help. He’ll be a quarterback who will come in and make two starts every year against Kansas City, so Carr doesn’t have to.

Stash this quarterback on the practice squad, call him a special teamer, a player-coach, sign him before the game and waive him after – they can be creative on how to juggle the roster moves – who cares?

The Raiders just need to bring somebody in twice a year. Somebody who can actually beat the Chiefs.

Because it’s obvious that, for whatever reason, Carr can’t do it.

Looking over the landscape of free agent quarterbacks right now, the pickings are pretty slim. Who’s out there who’s had some success against Kansas City?

Mark Sanchez is 1-0 against them. Ryan Fitzpatrick, who will be a free agent at season’s end, has a 4-3 career mark against the Chiefs. Josh McCown, likely also a free agent as season’s end, has a 2-1 mark and is completing 63 percent of his passes against them.

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Hell, it doesn’t matter. The point is, the Raiders need to bring in somebody – anybody – be it Bob the Peanut Vendor, Pope Francis, Santa Claus, Tim Tebow, or Pennywise the Clown, the next time the Raiders square off with the Chiefs.

As good as Carr is, and is very, very good, he can’t – for whatever reason – get over on Kansas City. They have got his number, they’re in his kitchen, or whatever euphemism you want to use, but Carr has some sort of a block when it comes to the Chiefs. And it never fails that when he faces them, he puts up some of his worst statistical performances.

This Sunday only proves that point, making the week seven matchup – his first win over the Chiefs since his rookie season – and a game in which he was quite efficient, the exception, rather than the rule.

Which is why having a designated quarterback on (or maybe just around) the roster makes so much sense. It will take the pressure off Carr, he won’t have to face his nemesis – a nemesis that gets the better of him just about every time out – and hey, maybe the team will actually win a few of these games against Kansas City.

It sounds like a win-win all the way around. Kansas City is Carr’s kryptonite, so the simple solution is to remove the kryptonite from the equation.

Designated quarterback – voila. Problem solved.

You’re welcome, Raider Nation.