MLB: Imagining Every MLB Team As A 2016 Presidential Candidate

Carly Fiorina-San Diego Padres

Ah, now this one just works. Carly Fiorina is out of the presidential race, just like the Padres are out of the playoffs nearly every year for some time now. Like Fiorina, the Padres have had some promising starts, only to watch their hopes go down the drain.

They have had big name players and backers, like Trevor Hoffman, Adrian Gonzalez, and Huston Street in recent years. However, the same could be said for plenty of basement-dwelling teams. The thing that makes this comparison make the most sense, is that both of them had high hopes that quickly turned into national embarrassment.

You see, the Padres went all in on 2015. General Manager AJ Preller mortgaged a lot of future talent and cash in order to bring in some big guns, and make a serious run in 2015. Unfortunately, the team quickly collapsed, and was well-under .500 by the All-Star break. It wasn’t long before the Padres fired their management, and accepted defeat, bowing out of the 2015 season.

This sounds awfully similar to Carly Fiorina’s run for president, as she started out with a lot of hope. A former tech CEO, Fiorina had a lot of backing, and used her money to her advantage. She had promising chances to break through the pile of politicians throwing their hats into the ring, but quickly ran out of steam.

She’s now withdrawn, but let us not forget her most embarrassing moment, the one that really put that nail in the coffin. On January 1st, her alumnus, the Stanford Cardinal, were taking on the Iowa Hawkeyes in the Rose Bowl.

While most people would think the choice to root on your alma mater in one of the biggest bowl games in the country would be an easy choice to make, those people aren’t thinking like a politician. Fiorina, knowing she needed a lot of help to win the upcoming Iowa Caucus, decided she would authentically appeal to the Hawkeye state by tweeting this:

Not only was this a lame attempt to pretend to care about the game, she stood out like a sore political-thumb because she turned her back on her alma-mater in their biggest game of the year. It’s not hard to see why Fiorina and the Padres were both out of their races pretty early in. 

Mike Huckabee-Chicago Cubs, Texas Rangers

These teams are similar to each other, yet hard to place. Both the Texas Rangers and the Chicago Cubs have a fearsome lineup, and some great arms to match.

Huckabee ended up winning out simply because he has a lot of potential, and is listed as a candidate seemingly every year, but can never string together a big enough series of wins to go all the way and end the drought.

Rand Paul-Seattle Mariners

Are the Seattle Mariners a young team on the rise? How long can a team be pegged as on the upswing while still losing more games than they win? What exactly is so good, or bad for that matter, about Libertarians?

There are simply too many questions to truly understand Rand Paul or the Mariners, and it’s safe to say that 2016 won’t be either’s year.

Joe Biden-Baltimore Orioles

Like the fabled Joe Biden presidential campaign, the Baltimore Orioles are a team that always leaves the general public asking questions. How would Biden do in Barack Obama’s footsteps? What would the Orioles be without the mighty bat of Chris Davis? Where did all of the Orioles young prospects, once oh-so-promising, go?

The Orioles are a team that is stuck in middle-ground. They aren’t bad, like many people would say about the possibility of Biden running. However, they are far from the best team in their division, and it may be a while before they can claim to be. Biden is well-liked, but not necessarily respected like the top-dogs of his party.

The Orioles have a lot riding on 2016, and like the announcement that Biden wasn’t running after all was to his large fan base, this year may be a let down once again.

Next: A Curveball?