MLB: Imagining Every MLB Team As A 2016 Presidential Candidate

Ben Carson-Arizona Diamondbacks, Los Angeles Anaheim Angels

As a retired neurosurgeon turned key Republican playmaker, Ben Carson has (had?) a lot of potential. He’s still in the race, for now, but he’s fallen off the pace as of late. Like both the Arizona Diamondbacks and Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Carson is well-equipped to make a big run, but just doesn’t seem to have the drive needed to win it all.

Year after year, the Angels seem to get better, adding Albert Pujols and other big-play hitters to complement Mike Trout. Yet, it seems like no matter how well they do in the regular season, they just don’t have the excitement and energy to get over that August hump and carry themselves to the World Series.

The Diamondbacks, as a younger team with a lot of prospects who are finally coming up and producing. However, fans have seen this episode before. For every Paul Goldschmidt, there have been a dozen ‘can’t-miss’ guys who simply missed the mark.

Both teams are stuck in the middle of good divisions, and now it’s truly sink or swim. Like with Carson, the MLB will only take note of these teams once they step up and prove themselves a force to be reckoned with.

Lincoln Chafee-Cincinnati Reds, Colorado Rockies

Who? Yes, Lincoln Chafee is a real person’s name. Yes, he was briefly in the running for democratic nominee. He dropped out though. So little is known about him, there’s really not much to compare an MLB team to.

Eventually, the Cincinnati Reds and Colorado Rockies were chosen. Why? Because there are so many young prospects on this team, and such a lack of established, franchise players left, that this season will see quite a few fans of both teams asking themselves, who?

Jim Webb-Milwaukee Brewers, Chicago White Sox

See above, but with slightly more name recognition. At least the White Sox have Jose Abreu and Chris Sale.

2016 wasn’t kind to Jim Webb, who is already out of the race, and it doesn’t figure to be kind to either of these teams.

Jeb Bush-Miami Marlins, Washington Nationals

Ah, the similarity here is soothing. No matter how hard the well-established Jeb Bush tried, he just couldn’t help but step on his own feet. Whether it was lame campaign ads, literally pleading with a crowd to applaud him, or other things, he couldn’t get out of his own way at any point in his attempted campaign.

This is exactly on-point with both of these teams. With the Miami Marlins, they went big several years ago, signing Mark Buehrle, Jose Reyes, and Heath Bell to huge contracts all in one offseason. They also brought in a World Series winning manager in Ozzie Guillen. The only problem was, the team just wasn’t very good. There were rumors of internal power struggles and frustrations early on.

Ever since this large bust of a season, the Marlins, armed with one of the league’s best young hitters in over a decade, just haven’t been able to establish any confidence or rhythm. Their divisional opponent, the Washington Nationals, are similar in this vein. They have Bryce Harper and Stephen Strasburg, but can’t seem to stay healthy or happy enough to make a big run. Of course, no disappointing team would be complete without a hilariously disturbing incident.

At least the Marlins and Nationals didn’t ask their ‘fans‘ to applaud their lackluster performance.

Next: A Slight Malfunction