Handing Out San Francisco Giants’ 2015 Superlative Awards
The Obscure Shampoo Best Hair Award
Aug 7, 2015; Chicago, IL, USA; San Francisco Giants shortstop Brandon Crawford (35) runs off the field after being called out during the second inning against the Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field. Mandatory Credit: Caylor Arnold-USA TODAY Sports
This award is given to the player with the best hair on the Giants, the team that led all of baseball in hair (unofficial statistic). There was no shortage of nominees, because the Giants probably slip in a clause in everyone’s contract that says the hair has to be top notch to play in the Bay.
The nominees for this award are: Brandon Crawford, Madison Bumgarner, Angel Pagan, and Hunter Pence’s Chia Pet special.
And the winner is Brandon Crawford!
The guy who got to be Uncle Jesse in the “Full Clubhouse” video has to win this, right? Crawford had big shoes to fill, as John Stamos was the peak of late-1980’s/early-1990’s hair, but Crawford filled in quite amicably.
Bumgarner, along with a nasty cutter and filthy slider, features a strong head of hair. Pagan has a mean hair game, but he lost points for a midseason trim that took away from a glorious flow. Hunter Pence’s curly afro and shaggy beard combination was the most unique of the bunch, but no one could take this away from Crawford.
Crawford played great defense again, and had a career-year with the bat. But his 11.3 HAR rating (hair above replacement, a statistic that has been completely made up for the sake of justifying this award) led the Giants by a wide margin.
Crawford could soon add a couple more awards to his resumé, including a Silver Slugger and Gold Glove, but this one is probably the biggest honor of all.
This one comes from the mind of Nick Hjeltness on twitter, and he was right, this was a very difficult one to pick.